“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11
I’ll have to be honest here. My first thought on reading this verse is, “But what about me? Can my heart be safe with him?” I know, right? Selfish – me, me, me. I had to remind myself this was a list Solomon’s mother made of things he needed to look for in a wife. So, he was to search for someone trustworthy.
And why does this list of attributes start with the husband? If I were writing the letter, or list, I wouldn’t mention my son at all – I don’t think. I’d talk about other things like knowing how to raise children, or being a good manager of the household. I think it’s because the husband is the head of the home. The buck stops there. And because he has large responsibilities, he needs a wife who can live up to those responsibilities,
The following is the Hebrew meanings of our English words.
The heart: (the feelings, the will and even the intellect, also for the center of anything) –
His very core, the center of his being trusts his wife. He knows while he is off sitting at the city gates, their home, their children and their possessions are safe with her. He never has to worry if she overdrew the checkbook, or took something out of the freezer for dinner. He doesn’t have to worry about where his children are – she knows. And it is these very things that allow him to have this important and no doubt high-paying job. She isn’t calling him all day with silly concerns that she should be able to handle. (So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Eph. 5.:29)
Safely trusts: (to hie for refuge; figuratively, to trust, be confident or sure:—be bold (confident, secure, sure), careless.)
What? Careless? This isn’t careless as we know it, it’s has no cares. He is care-less. That first phrase to hie for refuge, I had to look up hie and it means to hurry to refuge. As if he was suddenly caught in a major downpour, he would hurry to shelter. In the same way, if he is caught in a major downpour of work, worries and problems, he hurries to his wife, in whom he safely trusts. He doesn’t hurry off to the bar for a few drinks, or to another woman – no, he hurries home to his beloved.
And again, my flesh stands up to demand attention. Well, isn’t that nice for him! He gets to come home and pour out his troubles to me. What about me? If a husband is submitted to God, he will also care for you and your worries that you desire to share with him. We have to remember to take the Bible in context. Sometimes that context is the entire Bible. (Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, Eph. 5:25 How does Christ love the church? Sacrificially.) This word for safely trusts is a verb. That means it’s an action. It’s not just a nice saying we could paint on a board and hang in our home. He is actively trusting you – his wife. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it is and it can bring us – his wife – a great deal of peace.
Have no lack: (to be devoid of anything)
You know the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, then nobody is happy?” It goes the other way too. “If Papa ain’t happy, nobody is happy.” Yes, that’s a selfish way to be, but it’s the way we are, in our flesh. When Papa is not only happy, but content and fulfilled and right with God, it filters down to Mama and to the baby bears. He may have a lack of motorcycles (if he’s into that) but he knows that lack is of no consequence. In his relationship with God, and his relationships with his wife and children, he is overflowing with blessings. These are the things of importance, lasting importance. (Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them Psalm 127:5)
I know at first glance, this all seems rather one-sided. But in God’s plan, if we obey in joy, it all works out to everyone’s benefit. Frankly, I’m glad I’m a woman. I wouldn’t want to be the man, the head of the family for anything. He is ultimately responsible, the buck stops with him. He is accountable to the Lord for how he raised his family. Did he invest in them or the television? My calling, to be submitted to my husband, is much easier (in the Lord) than his.
Have a wonderful week. I’m always interested in what you have to say. 🙂